anindigomind: screenshot of true-form Midna from Hyrule Warriors (Default)
It's a hard thing to explain, but it feels good to journal again. Even though it feels like useless... hmm. useless baring of self. certainly, it has no purpose. idk.

Tired, sore. Stayed up late-ish last night to watch American Gods, got up early today to see mom off on her road trip to the west coast. Haven't slept well lately in general, and I just hurt all over for no good reason and moving about is a challenge. Looking forward to about two weeks of managing everything on my own.

Yesterday was for shopping. I missed the live E3 coverage, but I guess all I missed was getting attached to a really nice looking game before we all found out the creator is actual trash? Also I guess more on the new Bioware game? I'll have to check it out. I'm not focusing well on today's livestreams either - I've got a lot of catching up to do. Did watch EA's - eh? Honestly I'm not invested in anything. A Way Out has potential for neat use of mechanics. I like seeing developers making use of the medium. That dress though, totally stole the show. Look at the shwoosh! Star Wars games though... they just make me miss Factor 5 and Rogue Squadron.

Rec: Get To Work Hurley, Kameron Hurley's podcast, is excellent. If you can it's super worth it to get her behind-the-scenes videos on patreon too. Solid writing advice all around.
anindigomind: screenshot of true-form Midna from Hyrule Warriors (Default)
Today needs some sort of special recognition. One of those little 'you tried' gold stars or something. I hesitate to declare it a good day just yet, but....

-got nine hours of uninterrupted sleep
-woke up before the dogs started screaming at me
-actually feel somewhat rested???
-so far it's been a quiet, rainy day

This is the most centered I've felt in weeks, months really, and it's not really centered just... not not-centered. I could use more days like this. I'm hanging on to this feeling and trying not to think about the inevitable crash that'll come later. Yesterday was an absolutely terrible day, the day before was awful too. I've just had a string of bad days in general - I wonder if the St. John's Wort has stopped having an effect? I'm afraid of what it means if it is working. But yeah, today is an alright day. Maybe taking benedryl and ibuprofen before bed is the trick, and the rain kept the dogs quiet. (It's not science unless you write it down, right?)

Now I just have to figure out what to do with the rest of the day, hopefully without it turning sucky.

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anindigomind: screenshot of true-form Midna from Hyrule Warriors (Default)
Jean T

February 2019

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